The "Big Bear" Dream

Every now and then I have a dream that begs the question: Why did I just dream that? What does it mean?

Last night was one of those dreams.

Feb 8th, 2024 - I was in Big Bear after a day of snowboarding. We were supposed to drive back that day, but were stuck due to a road closure. After playing monopoly for 5 hours, we called it a night and went to sleep.

THE DREAM:

I had a dream that I kept driving past my 2007 Chevy Impala on the side of a somewhat remote street. Each time I drove past it on the way to soccer practice, it had been altered. First it was parked fine, then it was parked diagonally sticking out into the road, then a dent appeared in the rear bumper. The final time I drove past it, all the doors and windows were open and someone was in the drivers seat, and a dog was in the back seat. I started panicking knowing that someone had broken into my car and yet, the car I was in didn't stop. I didn't even ask them to stop, we just drove past it.

When I got home, it was time to go to practice. I planned on making a stop at my car to confront the intruder and restore the vehicle back into my possession. I had a few soccer teammates at my house, and I asked for them to volunteer to come with me in case we had to use violence to remove the intruder. A few of them offered to come, and then we left.

First I suggested we walked, but then I decided we should take my truck to ensure we got to practice on time. When I opened the door to my truck, it was clear someone had broken in. There were 4 passports scattered on the seats, which I assumed to be mine and my families. It became clear that what I thought was a random intruder in a vehicle parked on a somewhat remote street, turned out to be a planned attack on me.

My understanding was that the intruder scanned each of the passports and planned on launching some sort of cyber theft attempt. I called the police station to file a claim, and was wait listed for a call back.

We finally started driving in my truck and the feeling of urgency had intensified. As I kept driving, I realized I had not chosen the fastest way to go - in fact, it was the slowest. The stress began mounting because I dragged two of my teammates with me for help, and they would be late to practice as a result of my incompetence. At one point I ended up making a wrong turn that led us into a long driveway and I could not turn us back around.

I soon found myself in a store, pushing around a big shopping cart full of items. I got a phone call from a number I did not recognize but assumed it was the police officer calling back. I didn't answer the call. Instead I had all my items in a shopping cart and was racing to get them into this elevator so I could get back to my truck to confront the intruder at my car. Meanwhile I am still stressed about being late.

I soon find myself in a beauty store, and I'm holding a big plastic container of a mysterious colorful powder. I'm racing through this store, spilling the power everywhere. Trying to get back to my truck so we can stop the intruder.

When I finally get back to my truck, I try to look up directions and my phone is nearly dead and were are almost out of gas. It feels like an hour since we left my house, and we are not even close to my car to stop the intruder. The stress begins to pile on.

I soon find myself in a mall. I stop to talk to my friend, by now my two teammates are no longer with me. I ask desperately "What are we doing here?! We need to get to my car and stop the intruder!"

By now, its clear we are too late, and I end up breaking down. In tears, I kneel before God and surrender, asking for forgiveness for my inability to drive to my car and confront the intruder. In tears I apologize to my friend, who has been with me the whole time. In his arms I continue to apologize for failing our mission.

INTERPRETING THE DREAM

Waking up from this dream I was instantly curious about what had just happened. It did not take me long before I started piecing the wisdom together.

The goal of the dream was to catch the intruder who broke into my car. I left myself vulnerable to an attack because I never lock the doors to my car or truck - I got it from my dad, who doesn't even lock the front door of our home at night. I have actually had multiple occasions within the last year that my car had been opened and gone through but nothing was taken.

When trying to catch the intruder of my dreams, I asked for the help of my teammates. When I failed to perform my mission, I was crushed by the stress of wasting their time. This is one of my greatest fears and brought me to agony when I felt it.

Instead of heading straight to my car to confront the intruder, I found myself running errands. I never consciously made the choice to go shopping, which is why I continue to use the term "found myself." This illustrates my problem of task prioritization and staying focused. There's a list of things I would like to accomplish before my time is up, and my brain scatters easily. When the stakes aren't as high as catching an intruder, it's easy to shrug off the instances where I "find myself" multi-tasking or completely detoured from the plan. In this particular example, the stakes were very high, and my deviation caused an outbreak of chaos

I didn't answer the call back from the police department while shopping. This was an interesting moment because I can recall the thought process in my head. I was shopping with no real sense of urgency at the moment the police officer called, as if I had taken drugs and forgot that I had to be somewhere. I knew who it was and why he was calling, I just didn't feel like answering. I failed to take responsibility due to a substance induced laziness. I thought "I'll handle that later," and carried on my way. This is something I need completely removed from my life. As I grow older, my responsibility to myself and my family are increasing, and I must act accordingly. Moments like this will cripple me if I'm not careful.

Later in the shopping scene I had the "oh shit" moment that I remembered by duty to catch the intruder. I then began scrambling, and in the beauty store scene, I spilled what I was carrying all over the store, the mysterious powder. When I got back to the car, I was low in gas my phone was almost dead, leading me to the breaking point of stress. I often find myself rushing through life. Too many days I spend snoozing my alarm, rushing to get to work on time, starting the assignment at the last minute, etc. This scramble mode is caused by a lack of preparation and selfishness. When I show up late to something, it suggests that my time is more important than everyone else's. When I rush to get something done, it's never my best work, and I'll likely make a mess in the process. This also needs to be removed from my life.

When I finally lost all control and the mission was failed, the first thing I did was surrender to God. I looked at the sky and apologized because I was overwhelmed by shame. I believe there is something divine about my existence and mission on earth, and that's why I turn God when I feel overwhelmed. There is nothing worse than not being able to forgive ourselves - I imagine that's what hell is.

In my friends arms, I sobbed. I could feel his disappointment in me. His thoughts were my own, and he was saddened to see me broken. He had seen this behavior from me before, and he hated to see me fail again. I could feel his support, the spirit of "pick yourself up, you got this, next time you'll be better, learn from this, etc." It was all I had, and it meant the world to me.

Thanks for reading :)

I hope you enjoyed this dream.

Keep dreaming!

God bless you all.